Post by Tara on Nov 22, 2011 0:24:29 GMT -5
GASLIGHTING
FROM TARA:
This past weekend I was able to attend a Str8s meeting and they educated me on the term Gaslighting. I was in shock that there was an actual name for what is happening to me. As it was so clearly defined to me in the information below, I could no longer deny that I am living with a very, very sick individual, much more ill than previously thought who has rendered me a total emotional wreck and nearly incapable of taking care of myself. He has eroded my mental capacity to deal with reality, making me second-guess every move I make. I thought it was important to pass along this information to my fellow Str8s. This information has changed my life. I no longer wish to be friends in the end or have an amicable divorce. I live with a psychopath and I do not feel safe. I am living in fear living here with him. I am 5 minutes away from throwing caution to the wind and leaving with the clothes on my back and my 3 cats. I didn't realize how sick he was until I read the information below. God help me.
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Info at below address:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse in which false information is presented with the intent of making a victim doubt his or her own memory and perception. It may simply be the denial by an abuser that previous abusive incidents ever occurred, or it could be the staging of bizarre events by the abuser with the intention of disorienting the victim.
The term "gaslighting" comes from the play Gas Light and its film adaptations. In those works a character uses a variety of tricks, including turning the gas lamps lower than normal, to convince his spouse that she is crazy. Since then it became a colloquial expression which has now also been used in clinical and research literature.
Etymology
The term derives from the 1938 stage play Gas Light (originally known as Angel Street in the United States), and the 1940 and 1944 film adaptations. The plot concerns a husband who attempts to drive his wife to insanity by manipulating small elements of their environment, and insisting that she is mistaken or misremembering when she points out these changes. The title stems from the husband's subtle dimming of the house's gas lights, which she accurately notices and which the husband insists she's imagining.
The term "gaslighting" has been used colloquially since at least the late 1970s to describe efforts to manipulate someone's sense of reality. In a 1980 book on child sex abuse, Florence Rush summarized George Cukor's 1944 film version of Gas Light, and writes, "even today the word [gaslight] is used to describe an attempt to destroy another's perception of reality".
Resisting
With respect to women in particular, Hilda Nelson argued that "in gaslighting cases...ability to resist depends on her ability to trust her own judgements" Establishing "counterstories" to that of the gaslighter may help the victim re-acquire or even for the first time "acquire ordinary levels of free agency".
Clinical examples
Psychologist Martha Stout states that sociopaths frequently use gaslighting tactics. Sociopaths consistently transgress social mores, break laws, and exploit others, but are also typically charming and convincing liars who consistently deny wrongdoing. Thus, some who have been victimized by sociopaths may doubt their perceptions. Jacobson and Gottman report that some physically abusive husbands may gaslight their wives, even flatly denying that they have used violence.
Psychologists Gertrude Gass and William C. Nichols use the term "gaslighting" to describe a dynamic observed in some cases of marital infidelity: "Male therapists may contribute to the women's distress through mislabeling the women's reactions. The gaslighting behaviors of the husband provide a recipe for the so-called 'nervous breakdown' for some women [and] suicide in some of the worst situations."
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Go to link below to see if you are being gaslighted.
www.psychologytoday.com/blog/power-in-relationships/200905/are-you-being-gaslighted